So it has bothered me for a while but, one of my online identities has not matched the rest of my online identities for a while. I have had an XBOX Live account since way back in the day and for a while i used jtruman0917 as a user name. I follow a methodology where I setup a gamertag or email address and tag a 4 digit code on the end. What is this code you may ask? Pro Tip: Use your anniversary as your four digits. 🙂 This means that every time you log into any site or service that you have to type in your username you remind yourself of your anniversary. This reminds you everyday of the blessings of your wife and family!
I have gone through the xbox live user flow probably 10+ times to change my username from my old username. Why did I not change it? Cuz it cost $10. Well this morning i bit the bullet and changed the tag. Why did i change the tag?
The reason that i changed the tag was that 0917 is not my anniversary anymore. My anniversary is now 1027. My main email is ScriptWarrior1027@gmail.com for example. If you have any questions or want to reach out to me feel free. 🙂
Here’s a quick minute of truth that I feel i need to share. I have been married and divorced twice and I am now on my third and last marriage. Now let me ask myself some seemingly hard questions that i actually think about often.
What did the first two marriages teach me?
If I had a time machine would I go back and change anything, what would I change?
My first marriage was to my high school sweetheart and we got married at 21 and 20. One thing I would change would be to maybe wait a little longer to get married. We were both so young and didn’t know what we wanted out of life. We both felt that marriage was the next logical step in what our families and society required of us. It just made sense. We were going to start a family and do what everyone does when they are that age. Fast forward around 5 years and life happened and we quickly realized that our futures were not on the same path. While we had tried to start a family it just didn’t happen. We then found we had divergent goals but the 5 years taught us more about ourselves and each other.
I stayed single for about 6 months and then decided it was time to start dating again. I had a few dates with 1 person and before you know it we found out that God had plans that we were going to be parents. I decided to “make it work” with this person since forever all I wanted was a family. Fast forward 5 years and guess what? Divergent goals and not knowing each other as well as we should have before we started a family caught up with us. Would i change anything… maybe but on the other hand i would absolutely do it again because from that marriage… I have 2 amazing children.
I promised myself that i would not do this again. I was not looking for another wife and said maybe it was time to just be like the world and PARTAAAY like I was the college kid that i never got to be. I was married pretty much all the years I was in college. I started to frequent establishments of food and drink that had young female waitresses that are very popular in the Clearwater FL area. These restaurants were an environment where i could try to be a person i wasn’t. I quickly learned that as i was sitting there eating wings and drinking beer, I found that i was often feeling more like a parent than a college kid. I would sneer at the drunk guys that were oogling these girls and thinking to myself… you probably have daughters and this is someone’s daughter. How do you sit there and lick your lips at some 20 something girl when the mother of your children that has sacrificed and done everything for you is sitting home doing what she does? Look i am not trying to judge here I am just talking about my internal struggle during this time in my life. I then was sitting at work one day when i got a Skype message from a manager of another department. She said that she liked my taste in Christian music. I was like wait a minute? How does she know what i am listening to?
**Looks at the screen and breaks the 4th wall** so you are probably wondering how i was going to Wing House and Hooters and listening to Christian music all the time? I said it was definitely a time in my life that i was struggling to figure out what my next step was **Ok back to 1st person again.**
While I was at work I was listening to a lot of Jeremy Camp, Pillar and Skillet on a streaming service called Slacker.com. It turns out that every time the music changed it would tweet out that I was listening to a new artist. Then I had some integration between twitter and LinkedIn so yeah i was spamming the crap out of my entire network with… Hey Scriptwarrior is listening to Jeremy Camp on Slacker.com. So this manager is a very strong Christian manager that reached out to me to say that she liked my music choices. I was very transparent with this person about how i was struggling finding the new normal in my life. She let me know that there was Bible study that she helped lead AT WORK! I said sure I don’t like working through lunch, so i’ll bring my bible and show up. The next week I met my future wife ATHENA! The manager from another group that reached out to me… **Fourth wall again** so just remember she persued me 🙂 ** The moment she walked into the small conference room where I was already sitting down waiting for others to show up, I literally felt something inside me. Like God touched me and i thought to myself… what was that? Fast forward 5+ years and guess what… Gods know what he is doing! We are happier than we have ever been and as GOD as my witness she is stuck with me forever. We have 5 kids together in our blended family. Her children Jasmin, Chris and Cassandra have become my kids and my kids Austin and Tatiana are hers. We even have 3 amazing grandkids that we are helping raise. I could not be more blessed than I am right now.
Would I change anything in my past…sure there are decisions that were made in day to day life that I might have changed. The decisions and the relationships that I had in the past have brought me to this very day where I am standing at my desk writing this post. Every day that i lived in the 20+ years of my first two relationships taught me what I wanted in life and taught me to value the amazing blessing that is my wife and family that I have now. Love you my GG and my amazing family.